This is Alan next door.
I’m sorry buddy, but I have a confession to make. I’ve been riddled with guilt these past few months and have been trying to pluck up the courage to tell you to your face but I am at least now telling in text as I can’t live with myself a moment longer without telling you.
The truth is, I have been sharing your wife, day and night when you’re not around. In fact, probably more than you, particularly in the mornings after you’ve left for work. I haven’t been getting it at home recently, but that’s no excuse I know. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apologies. My wife has known for some time now and I’ve promised her that it won’t happen again.
Bob felt betrayed, and in a fit of rage went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word shot his wife and killed her. He returned to the lounge where he poured himself a stiff drink and sat down on the sofa. He took out his phone to respond to the neighbours text and saw he had another message:-
This is Alan next door again. Sorry about the slight typo on my last text, I expect you worked it out anyway – my predictive text changed ‘WiFi’ to Wife. Hope you saw the funny side of this!
All the best